Here is the link to my brand new Storybook site! I'm so excited to read more about Alice and follow her crazy adventures.
Check it out: https://sites.google.com/site/kimberleybishopok/
(Alice playing croquet, web source: Wikimedia)
Saturday, August 20, 2016
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Hello, my name is Kimberley Bishop and this is my blog. I am a senior Political Science and Letters: Constitutional Studies student at OU, but will probably take what I call a "victory lap," aka a 5th year. I'm looking forward to this semester!
Here is the link to my brand new Storybook site! I'm so excited to read more about Alice and follow her crazy adventures.
Check it out: https://sites.google.com/site/kimberleybishopok/
Here is the link to my brand new Storybook site! I'm so excited to read more about Alice and follow her crazy adventures.
Check it out: https://sites.google.com/site/kimberleybishopok/
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Hey, Kimberly!
ReplyDeleteI was immediately interested in your story because of the title. Just from the title, I can tell that you have put a modern twist on a classic story. Alice in Wonderland was one of my very favorite stories when I was growing up, and I dressed like her for Halloween for 4 years in a row- so Im excited to read all about this!
I love social media and I have an account for everything, so Im definitely interested in where this story will go. Your main character seems to be really funny and millennial, and really sets up for a cool storybook.
The only critique I have is about your layout- maybe you could explore and find something that fits your theme better, like a social media layout? Either way, I'm sure you will find something creative and cool!
Can't wait to read more from you!
Emily
Your storybook title drew me in right away, so I decided to comment on your introduction for my third feedback assignment. First of all, I really like the layout of your storybook site. It fits your topic so well! I also love the approach you decided to take. Alice already seems like such a young, naive character. It will be interesting to see how you deal with her in a modern setting.
ReplyDeleteOne thing I think you might consider in order to make the intro a little more fun and easy to read is breaking it up a bit. I think it would be really cool if you thought about making your intro and stories in an social media-like format. I think the conversational tone you have in your intro fits so well. It could be even better if the paragraphs were broken up a little more.
I'm excited to read the stories you add to this!
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ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed the photos you used! You stayed true to the original characters and that is very admirable. The only problem with using the photos you chose is that it really gets readers into the mindset of the time period in the original story. I was a little taken aback by the fact you modernized the characters, in doing so you may have to modernize your photos. Your layout also fits into the story and it looks like things falling down a rabbit hole! Which is really wonderful, so great choice on that!
DeleteAre you going to describe what Alice saw while falling down the rabbit hole? For right now, it’s left dangling in front of us and I’m highly curious! What was so weird and unusual that caused her to talk about, details like these will make your story dive into a whole other world of creativity! The potential is definitely there.
The last sentence, there was something a bit off about it… Ah, I know! It abruptly stops! Bring us back in, make us WANT to come back. Cliffhanger, cliffhanger, cliffhanger! I can’t wait to read more! :)
One of the things I love about Alice in the original story is how matter-of-factly she takes all the Wonderland craziness in stride, and I think your take on her fits really well as a natural extension of that. If little-kid Alice was so collected about everything, it makes total sense that teenage Alice would have an irreverent outlook on it.
ReplyDeleteMy only suggestion, which it looks like someone else thought of too, is that you find more modern images to go along with the posts. Because these illustrations are so iconic, in this context, they’re also slightly stale—they bring the original tale to mind instead of a sense of freshness, like the freshness your updated Alice’s voice brings. Maybe you could use one of those generators to make little social media posts from Alice’s feed and use those as complementary images, or else just find photos that don’t feel tired in relation to the story.
Anyways, I’ve enjoyed this intro, and I’m looking forward to seeing how the individual stories turn out!
Hi Kimberley! I like how you had Alice tell the introduction and I like that the introduction is written like a teenage girl would write a Facebook status or twitter update. I liked that you modernized the original story by involving social media. It is definitely an interesting take on the Alice story. There were a few places that your typing seemed to get away from you like “I couldn’t gotten Snapchat open soon enough…” and “it has been HOURS since I feel down this hole.” They were just small grammatical errors that probably were a result of fast typing, I do this in almost every one of my stories(oops). I am really interested in seeing where you take your storybook, specifically which stories you are going to choose to adapt and retell. There are a lot of specific parts of the story to choose from and I think it’ll be really cool seeing it told through social media/facebook. I can’t wait to read more!
ReplyDeleteHi Kimberely! I saw Alice in Wonderland and immediately clicked your storybook. What a creative idea! I love that she is actually still falling down the hole and posting on her Facebook. I think you are going to have an awesome time writing this book. I love that she is on spring break and more relatable in your interpretation of it. She sounds really sassy, so I think her posts will be more than entertaining.
ReplyDeleteI am excited to see how she will eventually (hopefully) get out of the rabbit hole! Also, you can use rabbit hole as another world for social media. You know how you can just keep clicking and clicking until you end up on a random page? That is kind of like a rabbit hole in my mind! I can’t wait to see what awesome work you will do and how this storybook turns out! Good job!
Hi Kimberly! I really enjoyed your twist of Alice in Wonderland! It was such an intriguing story. I like the fact that you stuck with the same story just changed the time of when the story would take place. I feel like if this situation did actually occur in today's society that this is exactly what would happen. I also like the part about the marmalade jar. I think it is funny how she goes into detail about how it hasn't hit her in the head and knocked her unconscious. Where exactly did the dresser and jar come from? Did it just appear out of thin air? Also can she still see the rabbit falling or is he too far out of her line of sight? I really can't wait to see what other stories you add to your story book! I will keep checking back to see how it goes!
ReplyDeleteKimberly,
ReplyDeleteI loved this story! I think the modernization of the story was really well done. There isn’t much that I would change when I comes to this story. Although I do agree with one of the other comments, the picture was a little bit outdated for a modernization. I don’t know how easy it would be to find a usable picture that could be a modern Alice in Wonderland though. I loved the writing style and the personalization that it brought with it. The girl was just so nonchalant when she was falling into this seemingly endless hole! Just “Oh there goes a cabinet… Oh look, a jar. Wonderful.” And then she gets mad at the rabbit haha, this is going to be a great read. I look forward to reading the rest of the story! I want to know how you incorporate social media into more of Alice in Wonderland’s tale.
Hey, Kimberly! I loved your story. I think it's such a clever idea that you added a modern twist, it makes the fairy tale relatable to millennials and teenagers. I know the frustration Alice feels when she is unable to catch an unbelievable moment that cannot be repeated on Snapchat. Something that no one will believe unless they saw it, like her talking rabbit. Also the part where she is annoyed about her friend instgramming another beach picture is super relatable. It's annoying to see more than 3 pictures of the same place/party/theme within a short amount of time. I can literally see Alice rolling her eyes as she scrolled through her instagram and seeing the pictures. The intro really gives the reader a feel for Alice's character. I love that she creeped on the white rabbit on Facebook, something that we are all guilty of doing at least once. You did an amazing job! Can't wait to see what happens next.
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed your introduction a ton in the first place, but your updates have taken this to a whole new level. I love how the White Rabbit’s post not only serves as your required image and is entertaining, but also gives readers a feel for each of the characters’ personalities. Factor in the fact that the Hatter’s comment cleverly leads to the next story, and that Alice is now motivated to keep going and confront the White Rabbit, and I’m a huge fan of what you’ve done here. This is awesome.
ReplyDeleteFor your first story, I think it was a really sharp move to go with texting instead of a status update for your photo, and I love how that conversation so closely mirrors the one in the book. The only thing that I feel might be lacking is the continuity of motivation from your introduction to this story. I realize that in the actual Alice books, none of the characters actually have much purpose and just kind of drift through the non-plot, which is kind of the point. But in your introduction, they all seemed much more motivated—Alice wanted to go after the White Rabbit to confront him, the Hatter wanted the White Rabbit to bring a girl by the party, etc. If you just plant in a few lines to carry that plot thread of motivation to this story (Alice wanting to get answers or directions or asking how to find the White Rabbit, for example; the Hatter acknowledging Alice in a way that fits better with his comment on the Rabbit’s Facebook post and the fact that he kept texting her after she left), I think you’ll have stronger ties linking each of your stories into a whole. But your storybook is in great shape, and I’m enjoying it a ridiculous amount so far, so excellent job!
Kimberly, I knew I was going to love your story. Alice in Wonderland plus social media? Of course. I love the personality of Alice and how it is so modern for us girls. I think I actually laughed out loud when you wrote, "I'm literally typing all of this while I'm still falling." That was so good. The picture was a really unique addition to your introduction and I think it brought a lot of realism to the plot. It's also very comical. I like how most of the story is in a narrative style with no dialogue, other than the text and the Facebook post, but I think you could add some dialogue between Alice and the characters. That could be really funny and add a lot of personality to the story along with Alice's. Overall, I really enjoyed such an interesting combination of topics and I think you did it really well! I think my favorite part is the pictures you added in to each section. That really boosted the effect of the story. Great job!
ReplyDeleteGreat story! This is probably my favorite story I have read so far! I love how much sass you gave Alice. In the cartoon she always seemed like a quite girl, so I enjoy how you changed her character and brought her into the 21st century! You did a great job on the layout of your stories. I thought that you provided the perfect amount of detail to your stories to make it easy and interesting to follow along! I love how you are incorporating social media into your stories! One thing you might consider is having Alice “Live stream” on Facebook while she’s in Wonderland! This is one of the hottest tends in social media, so it would be interesting to see what you do with it! There’s also the bunny filter on Snapchat that you can use, I wonder how the White Rabbit would feel about it!! Your fake texts and posts were the crowing glory to your story! Overall, fantastic story!! I cant wait to read more!
ReplyDeleteHi there Kim, MY GIRL!!
ReplyDeleteI love your introduction and the way you introduced Alice in anew light. Making her a high schooler with a sassy tone was a great character choice. You gave Alice a voice that is captivating and enjoyable to read.
Your story, “A Tea Party,” cracked me up! I think it is incredibly innovative that you are putting in incepts of social media into your story. In a way it adds another dimension to your story making it more interesting for the reader. I think you have a great theme and I’m looking forward to reading more of your stories in the future!!
Hi Kim!
ReplyDeleteYour theme is awesome and you’re going to be able to expand and add some really great stories. I like that you chose to give it a modern twist and make Alice a high school student. Even though she’s immature and obsessed with social media, I can see myself relating with her, especially when I look back on my high school days.
Your story about the tea party was great and had me laughing. It was very entertaining and it reminded me of how my younger cousin acts sometimes. I would suggest watching out for grammar errors. Giving Alice dialogue and attitude is awesome because it adds such personality, but be careful because it is also really easy to leave out commas or semicolons in these areas.
I am definitely going to come back and read more of your stories in the weeks to come. I think you have a really creative and comical theme going!
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ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed the way that you took a story from the past and made it into a story from the present day. The dialect that is used in the story shows that it is a more current story with a younger girl as the main character. I think you did a great job at changing Alice's character. For example she is grossed out by the mouse that is on the table but wants to sit down anyways. I thought it was funny that the Mad Hatter and Rabbit got a hold of her phone and started texting her. The text that you pictured at the end of your story is so funny. I think your story is great and I can't wait to see what comes next! I wonder if the Queen of Hearts will steal her phone and text her as well? I also wonder what would happen to the story if the White Rabbit stole her phone?
DeleteHi Kim! Really loved your story. I am a big fan of Alice and the crazy world that is Wonderland so I was obviously captivated by your title. I think this is a great idea for a story because of the influence that social media is today. I loved the sequence with the Mad Hatter and Rabbit and the texts that they were sending her. You did a great job in your floor of the story and I think the only thing I would recommend is fixing one or two grammatical errors that are easy to spot reading through it out loud. Overall great job and keep up this cooky way of telling the story of Alice.
ReplyDeleteHi Kimberly!
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, I absolutely loved the title of your story, that's actually the reason I chose to read yours this week! I absolutely loved your story- I have always liked the Alice in Wonderland stories, and how people can change them up along the way. I actually did a story that had included her before, and really enjoyed writing that particular story. I loved how you included the media in your story, especially in today's time. This was really cool and a really good read, I can't wait to come back and read more of your stories! Well done!
Hi Kimberly! I was drawn to your storybook just by the name of it, it seemed so creative and different so I was definitely interested, plus I love Alice in Wonderland! Right off the bat I liked how it looked. The setup of the website is great and a little different than everyone else, and the pictures are awesome too. I really wanted to know what this storybook would be about and the introduction did a great job of telling me that. It puts such a modern and interesting twist on the classic tale. The first story was great too, and I don't see any revisions to recommend! I like how you even included messages that I know you must have done yourself, so creative and awesome. I would have never thought to do something like that. It looks like it's in great shape and I can't wait to see what you add to it!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoy reading older stories with a modern twist, and your storybook is no different. I really like the idea of Alice documenting her adventures in wonderland via social media! I think you’ve done a nice job portraying Alice’s personality and I especially liked your capitalization of words. It definitely added great comedic timing!
ReplyDeleteThe mad hatter and the hare texting Alice is hilarious, I can imagine their texts being funny at first but becoming more annoying over time! I also love the title “A Cheshire Cat and a Really Rude Queen.” You did a great job of showing Alice’s portrayal of things, even in the titles of the chapters. It’s also great that Alice is taking the time to share her experiences on social medias, and not just freaking out about being lost in some unknown world.
You’ve done a great job so far and I can’t wait to read your future stories!
After reading the title to your storybook, I was curious to see how you would express Alice’s journey through social media. I thought it was interesting to see how you did this because it really adds a modern twist to the story. I thought it was clever to add the Facebook posts and snapchats!
ReplyDeleteYour introduction was very attention grabbing. It was different from other storybook introductions that I’ve read but I really like it. It made me want to continue reading to see what actually happened to Alice. I thought it was super funny when she fell down the non-ending hole, and was able to post on Facebook during her fall. I also thought it was funny how Alice was able to find the white rabbit on facebook quickly. I can’t wait to read what other things Alice encounters and see her freak out even more!
Kimberley, I think your storybook is my favorite. I just get a kick out of Alice and her description of everything that is going on. Her narration reminds me of how one of my friends retells stories, so it definitely makes it funnier when I imagine my friend. I think part of what makes your stories so entertaining and strong are the images and GIFs you include throughout the text. Also, your writing style is not a typical style. You use all caps words or a lot of exclamation points and it totally works in the story. It just makes it more relatable and brings out Alice's personality. I think this works so well because many people know the story of Alice in Wonderland off the top of their head, so you don't have to explain every little weird thing that happens. Readers just understand that this story is weird at its core.
ReplyDeleteKimberley, I am so glad I got assigned to read your storybook again! I have to say that yours is by far one of my favorites! I really love the voice you give to your character. I can totally see her with her phone in Wonderland being all teen-angsty and tech savvy. I think that this was such a great modern take on a classic story. One thing that is really interesting about your writing style is that you don't include much dialogue, but you give your character so much detail and voice that its not even needed! This is such a refreshing writing style and its super fun to read! I really like how the pictures you use look like they have come from her phone! I think it is such a great touch to add to your story! Great job and I can't wait to see what else you do with your storybook!
ReplyDeleteHi Kimberly. This has to be one of the most interesting and exciting storybooks to read. You do an amazing job of making the character so relatable. I can definitely envision these characters in the story that you put them in. It continues to be an amazing modern take on classic stories. I would love to see more dialogue within your stories. I think that it would add a different style to your writing, so I think trying it out and giving a new look would bring another level to your writing.
ReplyDeleteHey Kimberly! I had to come back and finish your storybook. I hadn't been assigned it again in a while so I took this weeks free choice to come back and read yours again. Your storybook is definitely one of my favorites. I stand by everything I said in my first feedback comment about you making Alice relatable. You can really hear her voice through your stories. In the story, "A Tea Party", you can tell that Alice it just over it, over the whole situation she is in. I think that the only thing I really would have really enjoyed to see more of is dialogue. It is not that big of a deal that there isn't as much dialogue because they way you write Alice's thoughts is really insightful to just her as a person and her personality. The ending was perfect, you did a great job to just concluded the whole thing. You did an amazing job!
ReplyDeleteHi Kimberly! I think your Storybook is amazing! I really enjoyed how you wrote the story in first person as Alice. I like when people write their stories in first person because it always makes it so fun for the readers to read since they feel like they are actually experiencing what is happening in the story! I also liked how you added a little modern touches when Alice was scrolling through Facebook, texting, and trying to get internet access – those are such funny visuals to me. Your writing is very descriptive and visual, so I had a perfect mental image of what was happening as I was reading through it. Overall, I think you did a fantastic job with your Storybook! The images worked perfectly with the stories and the theme of the website meshed well, too. Each section of the Storybook was unique and added an exciting and interesting element to the overall story.
ReplyDeleteHi there! I’m so glad I’m able to revisit your Storybook before the semester ends. I really like that the further we get into the story you include some visual aspects of the modern story you have created. I thought it was very clever and unique. It also shows us how creative and how much thought you put in your story. I love it great job! I like how you kept to the original story closely because the original is so unusual and different I think it would have been hard to come up with something new. What am I talking about?! I know it is, I tried myself and I got a lackluster story. I really applaud your story I think it was really well done and also it was really funny. I probably would have reacted the same way as your Alice would have. Again, great job!
ReplyDeleteKimberly, hands down this is one of the most creative story books i've read! I love that you made it so modern and relatable in the tone and language but yet stuck with the original story. Also, I think it was cool how you were able to create and add in the Facebook and text message screen shots. Those were so fun and creative and definitely added a little something extra to your story. I think it was funny that you made Alice so sassy when in the original and in the movies she is so proper, calm and well mannered. I think this type of feeling and behavior would align way more with her age group especially in our society today. All you story titles were so cute and creative and genuinely made me laugh. I have to admit that if I was Alice and the Mad Hatter and his friends were speaking to me in riddles I would get just as frustrated as Alice did. Awesome writing and way to be so creative and original! Have a great rest of your semester!
ReplyDeleteHi Kimberley!
ReplyDeleteI wanted to revisit your storybook because I remember how fun it was. I love love love the social media twist/Alice’s snapchat story. Alice is so relatable to your average young teenage girl today. This is definitely one of my favorite storybook projects this semester. You had the most interesting twist and keep the reader engaged. Your stories are awesome because you set up the scene so well and give your audience a lot to envision. Also, this is super random, but I like the emojis! It is almost like Alice is texting and it is easier to see her emotions. Awesome job on your whole storybook and finishing the semester! Have a great winter break!