Thursday, October 27, 2016

Storytelling: Beliefs

"Sharif, heel," Kaci whispered to her wolf companion.

The two of them crept along the line of trees, careful to not be seen by the men in the campsite. There were two twin brothers sitting near their tent. They seemed to be alone, but Kaci wasn't going to bet on it. Sharif looked up at her with those whiny eyes as if warning her to keep her distance.

"I know, I know, but I can't let them get away again."

The two of them had been traveling through the woods for days. She had been tipped off to the location of the twin brothers a week prior and they had been on their trail ever since. These brothers were despicable beings who did nothing but make the earth inhabitable for others. Everywhere they went, they left the place worse than before. They were violent, often pausing along their travels to kill or maim anyone in their path.

These men had been dual leaders of the land where they were from. They were among the most vicious kind of leaders; they were tyrannical and despotic. They killed all political opponents and outspoken critics of their leadership. They often traveled anywhere and everywhere with a gaggle of guardians, but they had escaped from their homes to spend a week hunting for sport. Kaci knew that this would be her chance to eliminate them, permanently. She was afraid of nothing and she was going to bring goodness back to their home state.

Kaci was a 19 year old girl from the nation those twins led. She had a meager upbringing with only her father raising her. Her mother had passed away some years before, but she never knew how. Her father never spoke about it, and she didn't want to pry. Her father didn't speak about too much, generally, and the biggest indicator of familial connection he had ever exhibited was giving Sharif to her. Since then, Sharif had been her sole friend to adventure with. He was not only a pet, he seemed to understand her every thought and action and he seemed to be able to be trained exponentially easier than other pets.

After she turned 17, she started working around the palace the twins ruled from. She did mostly janitorial duties, and had quickly befriended a guard around the place. He mostly worked at nights, and she always passed him on the way out. One night, after she expressed a sense of envy for his job, he offered to give her fighting lessons. Ever since then, she had learned what exactly it meant to be a guard for those despicable tyrants, all the things they made the guards do, all the violence they forced them to commit against the people of the nation. It was terrible, and Kaci was going to change it. That's how she found herself in the woods, creeping upon the twin rulers.

"Sharif, go across," she ordered as she gestured across the camp. He set off around the camp site and settled himself across from her. If Kaci could keep the element of surprise, she may be able to gain the upper hand over these two. It would have to be perfectly coordinated between her and Sharif. She gave a hand gesture to Sharif for him to move out of the shadow of the trees.

The twins saw him immediately. They sprang up toward him, giving Kaci an opportunity to move stealthily out of her hiding spot. Sharif growled loudly at them and the twins reached for their weapons. "Now's my chance," Kaci thought quickly. She lunged forward and put her dagger to one of the brothers' throat while Sharif cornered the other against the tent.

"WHO ARE YOU?!" the brother guarded by Sharif exclaimed. Kaci didn't answer. There was nothing she could think to say, but nothing that she needed to say. She needed to act and she needed to do it quickly. She fumbled with the knife but managed to cut through the side of the brother's neck. He dropped to the ground, grasping at his neck. The other brother lunged at Sharif, who answered with a lunge at the other brother's neck with his teeth. He grabbed ahold of the brother, who managed to cut Sharif under his front shoulder. Sharif whined loudly and let go. Kaci leapt forward and caught the front of the neck. He started to bleed profusely and crumpled to the ground.

Meanwhile, the other brother had risen to his feet, still clutching his neck wound. Kaci rounded on him and Sharif limped up beside her. The brother ran forward and sliced through Kaci's shirt to leave a shallow wound on her side. Sharif jumped up and grabbed his hand. Kaci grabbed his other hand holding the knife and thrust it into his abdomen. He faltered and she drew the knife back and thrust it once again into the brother. She did it again and again and again until the brother went entirely limp and fell to the ground.

Sharif crumpled into a heap, breathing heavily. Kaci stopped to nurse her wound, but it was quite shallow and had already stopped bleeding. She inspected her companion's shoulder, which seemed to be more serious but that would still heal well. She carried him under a tree. She laid him in the shade and leaned up against the tree trunk. It was done, it was over.

(Sharif, web source: Pixabay)

Author's Note: I used one paragraph from "Beliefs" from the British North America unit. In this paragraph, it describes the woman named "Afraid of Nothing," from whom I gathered inspiration for Kaci. I chose her name because it means "brave." I chose Sharif because it means "companion." In this story, she creates the world and must battle two mountains who had made the Earth inhabitable for all other humans. She waged a war against them, and made them much smaller. I personified all of these characters. Instead of creating the entire world, I had Kaci create her own world with her dog. I added her dog with some inspiration from the direwolves in Game of Thrones.

Bibliography: "Beliefs," in Myths and Legends of British North America by Katharine Berry Judson. Link to reading here.

4 comments:

  1. I found your story really interesting and very easy to read. I really like the fact that it's pretty "action packed". I I think you did a really nice job of telling a new story while incorporating the themes from the original. I also like that it wasn't a mushy love story. All action, no fluff. Very well done! I look forward to more of your stories.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Kimberly, that was really intense yet very well written. Great job! I was impressed with your ability to write the lead up to the fight scene really well. You created a backstory that helped me to support her murderous intentions. I will say that at the beginning, I thought they were both wolves. You might mention how Kaci is a human earlier on. What if at the end you added one last little bit about Kaci's final thoughts? Like what she had done just sunk into her conscious and she gave one last parting thought.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Kim! I really enjoyed the outline of your story, I was able to follow along easily. You write very clearly and with great word choice. I enjoyed the background of Kaci, it made me feel as if I had grown up with her and was rooting for her the whole time. Your writing made me feel as if I knew here. I think your story was really great and it had me captivated the whole time due to intensity of the action, great job!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. You did a nice job of taking the source material and transferring it to a different setting. I, as a reader, was able to get more into the story when it was physical fighting between humans than I think I would have been able to otherwise. I have one thing I wasn’t sure about: should it be “make the earth uninhabitable,” rather than “inhabitable”?

    ReplyDelete