Story: Twenty-Two Goblins

HOST: Hello! And WELCOME to the Love Triangle, the show where distraught people who have 3 or more suitors seeking their hand come to FIND. THEIR. FOREVER!

We have a great show for you today. We have a lovely contestant who has three men that want to be hee husband. This contestant has a special twist, that you won't want to miss! Stick around, and we'll be right back with Contestant #1, Coral!


HOST: Welcome back to the Love Triangle! We have our contestant all setup here. Hi Coral, why don't you tell us a little about yourself here? Show the audience why these men over here are pursuing you so intently.

CORAL: Um, okay. Hi, I'm Coral. I have always been told that when the Creator made me, he gave me unparalleled beauty and loveliness. So, that was nice of him, I suppose.

HOST: Well, I think whoever told you that was right on the money! Weren't they, audience? So, Coral, tell us how these three men came to pursue you and seek your hand in marriage. Audience, listen up. Here is the twist I promised. So, Coral is sitting here with this dilemma of not knowing who to choose. She's just really torn up about it. Alright Coral, then what happened?

CORAL: Well... I died.

HOST: Say that again for us, Coral?

CORAL: I died. I came down with a fever and it killed me.

HOST: Can you beLIEVE that, audience? Well, let's meet our suitors and hear from them just how heartbroken they were when they discovered that their beloved had died before their very eyes.

Suitor #1, hello. Can you tell us what it was like coming all that way, mustering up all that courage to ask for Coral's hand... just to have her die without making a decision?

SUITOR #1: Hello, there. Yeah, it really broke my heart. I mean, I wanted to spend my life with her. I wanted to prove that I should be the one that she should choose and that just all went up in smoke.

HOST: So, what did you do after she died?

SUITOR #1: Well, me and the other guys took her body to the cemetery and burned it to ashes. Then, after that, I don't know. I sorta felt lost. I could really find any meaning or see a way for me to move on. So, I just made a hut right near where her ashes were and lived in it.

HOST: You lived in a hut... ?

SUITOR #1: Yeaah, I mean, I don't know.. It was the only thing to do that made sense at that time. Anything else seemed to disrespect her memory.

HOST: Alright, so one of you lived in a hut. Let's talk to our other two suitors.

Suitor #2, hello. So, we know what happened immediately after Coral over here died. You and these two guys took her to a cemetery and burned her ashes. This guy over here decided to live in a hut over her ashes. What did you do?

SUITOR #2: Well, I did the only thing I felt would be beneficial and might help the situation. I took up all of Coral's bones and dipped them in the sacred Ganges river.

HOST: You... dipped the bones.... that are in her body right over there... in a dirty river.

SUITOR #2: No, no. The Ganges river is supposed to be the purest river in the world. It's said to have certain powers about it. I thought that the best thing to do would be to purify her bones, in the hopes that it would bring her back to us.

HOST: Well, alright. You wanted to badly for her to return to you, that you would carry the literal bones from her body across miles to a river. That sounds pretty good to me, what do you think, audience?

There you have it. Alright, now let's meet our third and final suitor, Suitor #3!

SUITOR #3: Hi! I'm really excited to be here!

HOST: It certainly seems like it! Okay, we've got one of you living on Coral's ashes, one of you traveling the countryside with her bones. Tell us about your journey post-death.

SUITOR #3: Yeah, I took to wandering to other countries and stuff. I was wanting to find someone else out there. I was waiting to find something that would put me on the right track. And I did just that, it was perfect.

HOST: And what was that?

SUITOR #3: Well, it's kind of a long story. I wandered into this random city and this family in this house just decided to bring me in and entertain me. We were having dinner and then the craziest thing happened. I still can't believe to this day what I saw. So we were eating dinner. And the son of this family starts crying. Nothing that anyone does is comforting him. He's just sobbing. And then... the mother takes this kid - I'm not making this up - and throws him into the fire. And POOF! He's burnt to ashes.

HOST (horrified): Suitor #3, how can you be so nonchalant about that!?

SUITOR #3: No, no! Don't worry! That's what I thought too. I was absolutely disgusted. And then, the dad pulls out this book and says a few words then sprinkles some water on the ashes, and POOF again! He was there like nothing had happened. So, in the middle of the night I stole his magic book and brought it back to use on Coral. And then I - not the other two - I brought her back.

HOST: Okay, tt is TIME! The suitors each get 30 seconds to show why they should get to marry Coral. Alright Suitor #1!

SUITOR #1: Coral, I knew I wanted to marry you since the first time I heard your name spoken. Your beauty is unparalleled and your loveliness exceeds this world. I know you are the one for me because, when you died, my entire world fell apart. I could not bring myself to do anything but weep and grieve for you. I have experienced what this life is without you, and I cannot do it. I want to be your husband, please choose me.

HOST: Very nice, certainly gives Coral something to think about! Suitor #2, you're up!

SUITOR #2: My dear Coral. You are the love of my life, this I know very deep in my soul. You are lovely, yes, but you are compassionate. You are kind. I want to live out the rest of my days surrounded by your grace as your husband. When you died, I knew I had to have you back. I knew the world would be worse off with you. I thought immediately of a story my mother always told me about the healing powers of the Gange, and I knew that if I did not try to bring you back that I would regret it the rest of my days. I walked and will continue to walk miles and miles for you. Please choose me.

HOST: These guys certainly aren't making it easy, are they? And we still have one left! Suitor #3, now's your chance. Tell Coral why she should choose you.

SUITOR #3: Coral, I love you. It may seem silly to say with what little time we have had together, but I know without a shadow of a doubt that I love you and you are the one I am meant to be with. Without you, I am lost. After your death, I wandered with no purpose. I knew I needed to find something, but I didn't know what. The fates led me to that house, to that family. Coral, I am the one who brought you back to this life. My love knows no bounds; I would go to the greatest lengths to bring you back to me and I did. Coral, I love you, please choose me.

HOST: Wowee, okay, that's it! Coral, you have a lot to think about here. It's time to make your decision.

CORAL: I choose...Suitor #1! He acted in a way that true lovers should act, instead of as a son or father.

(Hut, web source: Flickr)

Author's Note: The entirety of Twenty-Two Goblins is comprised of many different riddles and puzzles that don't truly have a factor that ties them together. The main theme of the story follows a king who is sought out to do a favor for a monk. This monk needs for the king to get a dead body, which is hanging from a nearby tree. However, the body has been invaded by a goblin and each time the king tries to take it from the tree to the monk, the goblin tells him a riddle. The deal is, if the king correctly answers the riddle, the goblin flees back to the tree. If the king knows the correct answer but refuses to say it, his head will explode. If the king doesn't know the answer, the goblin will simply tell him another story on their way. The story above is based on one of the goblin's puzzles. Nearly every aspect is intact above, I just presented it in a very different way. At the end, the king answers with the 1st "suitor," because he saw that he had acted like a lover who had lost their love. The 2nd had acted as a son should. And the 3rd, who you may think should have won her heart, acted as a father would do (doing anything they could to get her back).

Bibliography: Twenty-Two Goblins, translated by Arthur W. Ryder. Link to reading here.